"Mhm, I know," she said while sitting on one of the chairs in the living room. Huh, comfy. And just when she had thought she had slipped past the shark, only for him to turn back and snap.
Kenzie stood up quickly, and raised her hands up in a pacifying manner, hoping to ease Eddward. “Look, Edd. It wasn’t that big of a deal. I had just over stepped some boundaries and he lost control for a moment. And I wasn’t even in there for a long time.”
She tried to smile, but she was pretty sure it came out as a grimace. Every time she thought about her time in the hospital, just made her think of who, why, and how she got there in the first place. And she had did it to herself, thinking he really loved her. That he could change.
But she was wrong, so very wrong.
He couldn’t even get coherent words out, which was unlike him at all. He shrugged, like he was trying to piece together what Kenzie had told him. Wasn’t a big deal? Was she insane?
"Lost control? That’s more than losing control. Stepping over someone is one thing, but you do not put someone in the hospital," he finally sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. She was away from him, that is what mattered now, and he would not let her go back.
"You have a terrible fake smile," he finally spoke again, calmed down. He was doing his best to remain calm and not bring up any bad emotions from her. It was just so difficult to do so when he kept hearing these things spill from her.
"Yeah well, it’s done and over with. And I won’t be seeing him anytime soon. So no worries right?" she asked as she sat back down, seeing him calm one more. For second she thought she had broken him. Never has she seen him so slow to react to something like this.
Kenzie laughed a bit at that, “I haven’t had to show it to anyone who could point out it was fake in the first place.”
She was glad he wasn’t making a big deal out of it. She already felt bad for not having told him in the beginning.
Because I can’t really trust myself, and the people around me, I’m just gonna post this here. I’m sorry for how bad it sucks, I’m just having a bad time right now.
I wish I could view myself in the eyes of others.
I wish I could understand what that feel when they think of me.
I wish I could look at myself I’m the mirror.
And not want to smash the very thing that’s suppose to tell me how I look.
I wish I could tell myself everyday I’m Beautiful.
I wish I could say that I was worthy.
I wish I didn’t have so many scars, inside and out.
I wish I could be the me I’ve always wanted to be.
The one in my dreams.
I wish that I could have been born differently.
I wish I was different.
I wish I wasn’t me.
I wish that all my wishes didn’t sound so…
But wishing is for those who believe.
And I stopped believing a long time ago.
What I hate most is that there are people who are
Strong as Levi
Or smart as fuck as Armin
Or big and persistent dreamers as Eren
Or badass as Mikasa
Or natural leaders as Jean
Or sexy-blondie-bitches as Annie
And then there’s Erwin that just
No. Stop. Who give you the right.
Choose one and stay put.
you can’t be this perfect.